Welcome To My World

# It's a DuBarr Thing *Pronounced doo-bar.* **Life is complicated. People are complicated. And sometimes, the thoughts we carry inside us need somewhere to go.** Welcome to *It's a DuBarr Thing* — my little corner of the world where I put life into words, one thought at a time. Life has a way of bringing our past back to the surface, teaching us lessons we didn't know we needed, and challenging us to look at ourselves a little differently. Some days bring happiness and gratitude. Other days bring frustration, regret, questions, and truths we'd sometimes rather avoid. Here, I write about all of it. This is a place for honest reflections, life lessons, relationships, personal growth, gratitude, mistakes, second chances, and the things we don't always feel comfortable saying out loud. Sometimes I'll share a lesson I've learned. Sometimes I'll simply need to get a thought out of my head and onto paper. And sometimes, I might write something that makes you stop and think about your own life. I'm not perfect, and I'm certainly not here pretending to have all the answers. I'm still learning, still growing, and still figuring things out as I go. My hope is that somewhere among my words, you'll find something that makes you smile, makes you think, helps you feel understood, or reminds you that you're not the only one who's ever felt a certain way. Because life is too short to spend it pretending to be someone we're not. **These are my thoughts, my lessons, my perspective, and my journey.** Some may agree. Some may disagree. And that's okay. After all, we each see the world through a different set of eyes. So take what speaks to you, think about what challenges you, and leave room for a little understanding along the way. **This is life through my eyes. This is my story, still being written.** And well… *It's a DuBarr Thing.*

Chose a good one to dodge..

-

Around 13 years ago, I began living with a guy whose roommate was incarcerated. When the roommate was released, he came to the apartment to collect his belongings that my ex had set aside for him, and that was our first encounter. After some time, I managed to leave that situation, and about 10 years later, I started communicating with the roommate, which quickly turned into some passionate one-night stands. We probably met a few times each year for several years. It’s been about 5 or 6 years since we last hooked up, a decision I made because, despite his attempts to reach out, I just didn’t feel right about it. It was strange since he is quite attractive, very passionate, and enjoys continuing intimacy after climax, but I sensed he was becoming possessive and uneasy about anyone else being around me. It felt like he wanted me to allow him to take control, but I wasn’t willing to do that. The last time he came over unexpectedly, I was talking with my son’s friend in the kitchen. When I opened the door, I could see he was displeased to see my son’s friend there, and it seemed he wanted to react to it. I brushed it off, but I definitely noticed and remembered it. I introduced them, and as one left, the other entered. Henry couldn’t keep his hands off me; right there in the kitchen, with the curtains open, he started touching me and kissing my neck. While it might sound nice, I honestly didn’t want it. I felt uncomfortable and nauseous. He pulled me to the bedroom, but I wasn’t interested in being intimate and just wanted him to leave. He undressed me and had sex with me, but I couldn’t reach climax. I told him I felt sick, and I don’t even recall if he finished because I just wanted him to be done and go away. I’ve tried to block that entire incident from my memory. I mention it now because a year ago, he was killed during a romantic dispute, and recently, the other two individuals involved were acquitted of manslaughter charges related to his death, as they claimed self-defense. Most people never knew that side of him. I think about how he made me feel that night and the expression on his face that made me uncomfortable, which is why I chose to cut off contact afterward. He would message and call, but I completely ghosted him. Since I didn’t let him into my life deeply, we remained “friends,” at least on Facebook. He had countless friends and was well-known, but only a few women understood his true nature. I’m grateful I didn’t get more involved before realizing who he really was. It’s tragic that his aggression led to a fatal outcome. 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Blank Note Cards- Noted Gesture

-
Image
  Introducing Noted Gesture, a delightful collection of blank note cards that celebrate the artistry of homemade treats! Each card features a stunning photograph of cupcakes crafted with love by me, ensuring that your heartfelt messages are accompanied by an image that brings joy. Printed on high-quality thick paper and paired with matching envelopes, these cards are perfect for any occasion. Whether you're sending a quick hello or sharing cherished memories, the generous blank space inside invites you to express yourself freely. In our fast-paced digital world, there’s something truly special about receiving personal mail; it's a tangible reminder that thoughtful gestures still matter. Join me in spreading positivity and good intentions—because we all deserve a little sweetness in our mailboxes.  Find these note cards at https://noted-gesture.printify.me/products plus many more.
Read more

The only option is forward

-
 As a young girl and up through my teens I'd have thoughts about relationships, marriage, and kids, sure.  Like many other teenagers I wanted to test the waters.  The idea of being loved always inspired me to dream like a little girl but my dreams involved more nature, driving, sight seeing, sex, drugs, music, and so on.  Rather than buying a house with a white fence and starting a family I wasn't easy to be with so I spent a lot of my time doing things on my own.  Many people struggle immensely with even just the idea of being alone.  It's important never to fill the void but to be your own void.  I know for me it's the hardest thing in the world to be a good mom when your heart is breaking and I feel like that holds true for a majority of people in this world.  A lot of men grow up and want to feel like men.  They have an innate desire to provide and protect so I believe it's safe to say that they seek out prospects that help them fill thos...
Read more

People need lessons of love..

-
One of these days someone is going to interact with me on here and it's going to feel amazing. Thank you in advance.  Something that I want to touch base on is addiction stereotype.  Stop acting like you're better than anyone.  Don't ever count yourself out of going through a tough time.  There are so many people out there that have known no love in their life.  They live only where they've left off in learning.  Usually around age 9 is where people realize they have a mind of their own that causes them to be impulsive.  Around the ninth year is when children begin to defy the rules more and more.  The influence bestowed upon us until that point is directly related to the ways in which we were cared for prior. Something I've always said in relation to individual evolving is that everything we need to know (IN ORDER TO GET BY), we learn in Kindergarten.  I emphasize that because of course we don't learn everything in Kindergarten.  That's...
Read more