It's a DuBarr Thing

  Yesterday September 29 2024 my sister would have been 41. I often wonder what she would look like, if she would have had any children, where does she work, and where would she be living?  I often wonder what life would have been like had she made it here.  She is buried in Ohio where my dad's family is from.  Living in New York since I was three, I'm not sure my mom has ever been back to Ohio.  She's never been to my sister's grave.  She didn't know that my sister was buried next to my paternal grandfather and that she has a beautiful head stone.  My mom thought she was buried in the hill with all the other babies and had a cross in her name.  When my dad died a few years ago my aunt brought me to see my grandma and my sister's graves. Well, my grandma is in a drawer.  She's laying with her head in the west and feet in the east so when her soul sits up it's facing the sunrise. If I could ever have dependable transportation of my own I'd like to dri

  Are historians naturally depressed because they live in the past? I am told that I live in the past and what's funny is that since it's been pointed out, I see it.  Often I think back to what was and just how different things have become.  Time has gone by and part of me says there is so much more to accomplish though there is a small part of me that see's myself as I will always be.  I'm unsure why that is; lack of courage I presume.   I'd like to have more courage.  Right now I'm super insecure because of my tooth or lack there of.  It's very embarrassing.  When a customer comes in I like to smile and say hello though when I do their eyes go right to my mouth.  If I smile a little bit, like a grin, barely showing my teeth it's not noticeable.  Then I smile naturally and I'm all teeth and that rotten spot is smack dab in the middle.  I'm going to have a root canal done.  I've never have one and am very nervous.  Please don't let me hea

Today I am thankful for my neighbor.  She has been kind enough to allow my daughter to spend the day with her and her children which gives me opportunity to do some things.  If only I'd actually do these said things.  I've made my bed and I cleaned the hallway.  Give me some credit!  I'm also thankful for the truth.  Everyone deserves the truth.  Nobody should ever be left to sit and wonder about anything for more than 24 hours.  Why wait? If you want or don't want something say it.   I'm going to get out of the house today.  It's my choice to be happy and I need to get back to it.  I've been pretty negative lately and it's come to my attention that people do not want to hang out with someone who is consistently complaining.  So today is a beautiful day and I don't want to miss it.  I love you all and I love myself.