Welcome To My World
# It's a DuBarr Thing
*Pronounced doo-bar.*
**Life is complicated. People are complicated. And sometimes, the thoughts we carry inside us need somewhere to go.**
Welcome to *It's a DuBarr Thing* — my little corner of the world where I put life into words, one thought at a time.
Life has a way of bringing our past back to the surface, teaching us lessons we didn't know we needed, and challenging us to look at ourselves a little differently. Some days bring happiness and gratitude. Other days bring frustration, regret, questions, and truths we'd sometimes rather avoid.
Here, I write about all of it.
This is a place for honest reflections, life lessons, relationships, personal growth, gratitude, mistakes, second chances, and the things we don't always feel comfortable saying out loud. Sometimes I'll share a lesson I've learned. Sometimes I'll simply need to get a thought out of my head and onto paper. And sometimes, I might write something that makes you stop and think about your own life.
I'm not perfect, and I'm certainly not here pretending to have all the answers. I'm still learning, still growing, and still figuring things out as I go.
My hope is that somewhere among my words, you'll find something that makes you smile, makes you think, helps you feel understood, or reminds you that you're not the only one who's ever felt a certain way.
Because life is too short to spend it pretending to be someone we're not.
**These are my thoughts, my lessons, my perspective, and my journey.**
Some may agree. Some may disagree. And that's okay.
After all, we each see the world through a different set of eyes.
So take what speaks to you, think about what challenges you, and leave room for a little understanding along the way.
**This is life through my eyes. This is my story, still being written.**
And well… *It's a DuBarr Thing.*
Where is my diligence?
I've not been myself lately. The things I've been doing are going to be traumatizing to me in some way eventually. This is not the life that I pictured; this is not the life that I thought I'd have. I don't like to say that I didn't work hard enough because I put in so many hours at the nursing home and spent so many days, evenings, and nights away from my kids. Many mornings I was up 3 or 4 o'clock to be at work by 6 or 7. I used work to escape the discomfort I felt at home. There was quite a few times when I'd either volunteer or be mandated to stay for an extra shift. A regular day I'd leave at 2 or 3 though many days it could have been any time between then and 11:00 pm. The life I have now is completely different.. I'm just not sure what to do with myself. I stay up way too late and sleep most the day, then get up pissed off because I did nothing I was supposed to do. What am I doing to myself but making choices that are hurting me more than helping me. Why would I continue to make these choices knowing what I know? Everyday I'm given an opportunity to show myself the courage hiding somewhere inside me. I say that I'd be happy if I could just figure out getting a vehicle because I would then be able to do the things I need to do as a mother. That alone would help me to feel amazing.
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