I've gotta get it out somehow...

 The idea I've had for this blog is one that I've been procrastinating on for too long.  Originally I wanted a place to go, as a mother, to vent and talk shit about everything and anything that is weighing me down or causing me to be irritable.  Currently, life has been more of a struggle and I'm aggravated.  I don't like that I have no patience or that I can't seem to show my gratitude or love to anyone, not even my kids. I wanted a place to let some of the thoughts, memories, and feelings out from the pit of my stomach. Though, I must warn you, I am vulgar and have the tendency to unintentionally hurt feelings. Please forgive me ahead of time because even though I am pretty smart, I don't know everything so I'm always seeking a lesson in every aspect of my life. Every single situation, big or small, is one that I analyze. When there isn't an outcome that I could possibly think of and someone opens my mind to one, I get truly amazed and thankful. 

With that said, there will be times when my posts are rather disturbing or equally sexual. There could be times when you find yourself blushing over the things that you read here. I am not ashamed. This is who I am and these are the things that I've done. A lot of things I wish I did differently or was influenced another way though it's made me who the fuck I am. Furthermore I'm using my words to write out all of the things in life that I have to accept in order to move forward onto other things. 

Just to make things very clear: #1. I love my kids. #2. I have my children 24/7. They do not go to their father's or adventure to grandma's, or have aunts, or uncles... #3. it's hard to do important tasks like paperwork, applications, emails, certifications, etc.. when I'm it in regards to teaching, entertaining, cooking, providing, supporting, and catering to my children. Fortunately I've been blessed with employment that is conveniently across the road from the school which are both a few minutes in walking distance from where I live. I work while my children are at school. Rather than act in a way that makes them feel as though my aggravations are because of them, I am creating a safe way for me to vent and express myself so I don't feel bad later. If I can be my best self or at least make myself better for my kids by yielding my concerns and worries through typing a few paragraphs, then I can be better and set better examples for my children. (note: I'm not mean to my kids; I am snippy, I've no patience, I feel like I have a hard time appreciating my role)

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