Welcome To My World

# It's a DuBarr Thing *Pronounced doo-bar.* **Life is complicated. People are complicated. And sometimes, the thoughts we carry inside us need somewhere to go.** Welcome to *It's a DuBarr Thing* — my little corner of the world where I put life into words, one thought at a time. Life has a way of bringing our past back to the surface, teaching us lessons we didn't know we needed, and challenging us to look at ourselves a little differently. Some days bring happiness and gratitude. Other days bring frustration, regret, questions, and truths we'd sometimes rather avoid. Here, I write about all of it. This is a place for honest reflections, life lessons, relationships, personal growth, gratitude, mistakes, second chances, and the things we don't always feel comfortable saying out loud. Sometimes I'll share a lesson I've learned. Sometimes I'll simply need to get a thought out of my head and onto paper. And sometimes, I might write something that makes you stop and think about your own life. I'm not perfect, and I'm certainly not here pretending to have all the answers. I'm still learning, still growing, and still figuring things out as I go. My hope is that somewhere among my words, you'll find something that makes you smile, makes you think, helps you feel understood, or reminds you that you're not the only one who's ever felt a certain way. Because life is too short to spend it pretending to be someone we're not. **These are my thoughts, my lessons, my perspective, and my journey.** Some may agree. Some may disagree. And that's okay. After all, we each see the world through a different set of eyes. So take what speaks to you, think about what challenges you, and leave room for a little understanding along the way. **This is life through my eyes. This is my story, still being written.** And well… *It's a DuBarr Thing.*

Adult life ruled by childhood

 From the time we're born until about 4 or 5 is the most crucial time in life for adapting to our environment and building our personalities and our character.  The life and mindset of the person/people who are raising us has everything to do with who we become.  As time goes by we meet new people and gain new insight to a much bigger world than we had originally thought. While a father can have just as much influence on a child, it's the mother that has an initial connection to him or her.  From the moment that baby opens their eyes and glares into the eyes of their mother through all the days that come after, she is everything to him.  As a baby grows they learn that they are a person, a person who is entitled to have whatever they want.  Babies are under the impression that the world revolves around them.  Unless they are shown and taught otherwise they continue to grow up thinking this which creates a real problem when they get older.  Having children requires time and patience with a lot of loving and learning.  If we don't teach our children that they need to have patience and that they are not the only one in the world, they grow up to be people that only think and care about their own needs.  They think of what others do or what others think but they don't know how to think or care about how anyone else feels. A child that has no one present to encourage, influence, discipline, and educate them is one that has to fend for themselves to survive. So they adapt to a life of taking care of their own needs.  There are so many lost souls out in the world that are just trying to make it the only way they've known how.  Basically they've rebelled off into their own world that a lot of the time develops into criminal activity and risky behaviors.  

 Behavior is so very contagious.  Good and bad.  We should all be hopeful that the good will outweigh the bad though every so often evil creeps up to manipulate the vulnerable state of the good.  If we're lucky the rebel mind can learn and adapt to better ways but it's up to people who have been raised and taught to hold a little extra patience and love, sometimes an abundance of it to really be an influence.  You see it's important to remember that when someone is neglected in childhood they are left to worry about themselves.  They only know and think about how they feel and how others make them feel.  Basically their world revolves around them.  They have feelings and they can care about other people and their thoughts though they only comprehend their own feelings.  It doesn't matter to them how you feel or how they make you feel.  Dealing with someone who doesn't think about the feelings of others can be mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially draining.  It's really difficult to manage any kind of relationship with this sort of unbalanced level of knowledge. There's a constant need for strategy which can sometimes feel like another continuous job on top of all the others. Patience is over rated in this world.  I admit to my own impatience and the anxiety it causes me. I have to remind myself that if I just continue to move at a steady, calm, focused state and work on one thing at a time, that all that I'm doing will get done, which definitely helps me get through all the tasks I set out to do each day.

"you may as well do with a smile what you have to do anyway" written by: me LDL

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