Welcome To My World
# It's a DuBarr Thing
*Pronounced doo-bar.*
**Life is complicated. People are complicated. And sometimes, the thoughts we carry inside us need somewhere to go.**
Welcome to *It's a DuBarr Thing* — my little corner of the world where I put life into words, one thought at a time.
Life has a way of bringing our past back to the surface, teaching us lessons we didn't know we needed, and challenging us to look at ourselves a little differently. Some days bring happiness and gratitude. Other days bring frustration, regret, questions, and truths we'd sometimes rather avoid.
Here, I write about all of it.
This is a place for honest reflections, life lessons, relationships, personal growth, gratitude, mistakes, second chances, and the things we don't always feel comfortable saying out loud. Sometimes I'll share a lesson I've learned. Sometimes I'll simply need to get a thought out of my head and onto paper. And sometimes, I might write something that makes you stop and think about your own life.
I'm not perfect, and I'm certainly not here pretending to have all the answers. I'm still learning, still growing, and still figuring things out as I go.
My hope is that somewhere among my words, you'll find something that makes you smile, makes you think, helps you feel understood, or reminds you that you're not the only one who's ever felt a certain way.
Because life is too short to spend it pretending to be someone we're not.
**These are my thoughts, my lessons, my perspective, and my journey.**
Some may agree. Some may disagree. And that's okay.
After all, we each see the world through a different set of eyes.
So take what speaks to you, think about what challenges you, and leave room for a little understanding along the way.
**This is life through my eyes. This is my story, still being written.**
And well… *It's a DuBarr Thing.*
Being a parent when your heart is hurting makes it the hardest job. Today I stopped dead in my tracks and thought about how lonely I am. I've been longing for companionship. The complete lack of intimacy causes irritability and frustration. I'm short tempered. It's hard to live out every day without feeling love or passion. I don't feel his touch or his love anymore. It pisses me off because he doesn't understand how it effects me every moment I have to go without a universal human need. The need for touch is exceeding the threshold in my brain. Each and every day I get up and cater to my kids. There is never a day that I can just live. It feels like there's never anyone to pick me up when I fall. It might make me stronger and more educated as I get older though in time lonely lives fade off into the sunset. If we don't use it we lose it. It's only 9:11 a.m. and it's been a rough morning. I'd...
Since January 1, 2024, my boyfriend has been in prison, and in July he transitioned from county jail to a state facility. Since that time, I have occasionally received notifications from the state indicating that his messages were not delivered due to policy violations. During our recent phone conversations, he expressed his curiosity about why I never replied to his messages where he voiced his concerns about the medical staff, policies, and procedures. Regardless of the specifics, I don't see any reason why those emails should have been blocked. Although I haven't seen the contents, I find it hard to believe that allowing those emails would pose any risk to the department. The emails were simply expressions of non-threatening medical concerns, without any corruption or conspiracy. Also on March 5 he called me to tell me he was in the box and that he doesn't remember what happened. He said that he was in the box and the last thing that he remembers is going to bed. The r...
Lately I've been really trying to follow Mel with her Let Them Theory. I'm going to buy that book. I already get the idea of it but I still like to read into the way others think of and tell a story. I'm aware that I look for aspects of myself in others and critique them. What confuses me is that it's me in the past I seek and then bitch about. There are so many parts of my past that I truly wish I could go back and change. It makes me wonder if that's the reason I can't move on to a better phase. Personally I keep saying that my life will be less chaotic once I have a vehicle on the road. Maybe it won't though. There are internal feelings that vary in favor of buying a car or not. I really need a vehicle in case of emergencies with one of my children. It's been 4 years that I've struggled getting them places they needed to be and it's the worst feeling in the world knowing your child needs something like the doctor or dentist though having...
Sometimes my heart bleeds over my good judgement causing me to continuously make decisions similar to all the others, always leaving me at square one. I've been keeping a journal since I was 14 years old and when I go back in them to read I get to wondering about myself, and if I'll ever make the jump or if I'm going to continue hanging off the edge. Something about the edge is spontaneous and fun but it only lasts for a minute per day. The thing that seems to set me back is the view. From the edge the view is always familiar which is more than most people can handle. There is fear behind the jump because there's no telling where I'll land. I know that I don't want to sit on a ledge waiting, wondering, and worrying. Even if jumping doesn't land me right where I want to be, it's probably where I need to be to get where I'm meant to be.
The best way to start a conversation with someone is by listening to them. If you want to talk to someone be sure you've heard them.
The best way to talk to someone is to just listen.
I hope all of my readers have a blessed day. Remember that it doesn't matter what you look like or what you weigh if your heart is ugly you're ugly. Period! Make someone smile today. Let someone know you care. It doesn't cost anything to be kind. Thank you so much for your time.
Post-partum depression was something I didn't experience until my last child. I'm unsure if the fact that she's a girl had anything to do with it. My first two children were boys. Each of my kids has widely opened my eyes to new meanings in life. My firstborn and oldest son more or less grew up with me. Although I was smarter and one of the more responsible around my age I still made some horrible decisions. Some people wouldn't change a thing looking back. Not me. If I could go back and make different choices, I would. There's no doubt about it. I have regrets, but I also am smart enough to know that I can't dwell on them. By dwelling on them I'd just be holding myself back from new experiences. The only way I'll be able to live each day is by accepting those regrets as the choices they were; the lessons they've been for me. It's not easy to do and some days the battle wears me out. Growing up I ...
I suppose it's not an exciting email. We are on my mind. All the situations and the emotions I've been left to have. It's got me thinking that our love isn't the same. In reality, I see us trying another time or two though it occurs to me that my love has been completely unconditional. Still, it's been apparent all along that for you to love me there have been conditions. It's just been brought to my attention recently and I was told to sit and think back to the beginning. I see myself putting my all into someone who was dealing in numbers and I don't even know what mine was. You accomplished what you wanted.. part of me feels like you only came to me when you had no place else to go. I have been the last resort. 'what you say is only in persuasion and if I have what you need it only stauls you from leaving, it never once has stopped you.. that's not love. Not real love anyway. Real love is unconditional like the love that exists in me, f...
Father - Mother God Loving me, - Guard me when I sleep Guide my little feet Up to thee. ~Mary Baker Eddy~ As a child, my mom used to say this little prayer with me every night.
Today I'd like to give thanks to all of my readers. We may not interact but I can feel the energy. Any day now one of my platforms is going to take off. I've been working on them both for quite some time and whether I make it around the world or not I just enjoy it in my free time.
About 5 years ago I met this guy that I wasn't attracted to nor was I even curious about him. It only took about a year for me to realize that I really liked him a lot. I wanted to hang out and talk to him more but unfortunately, he got locked up. Since we have been officially dating he has spent most of this time in jail. I know what people are thinking and can't live worrying about what anyone else has to say. The hurt and betrayal I've felt have certain people asking me questions as to why I would stay with someone who betrays and hurts me the way he does. The answer to that is, I haven't come across anyone that makes me feel the way he makes me feel. He messes up a lot and has given me a dozen times to leave him and I just can't. So during his first bid, I was overwhelmed writing letters. I started using blank note cards. Then I found a way to design my own. They are so worth it. Glossy covered, centered photo, 5 different design...
You never had me from hello in fact, a whole year I said no but you appeared one night from then on you've been my sight clueless to the base of my attraction I can't think of reasons why you're such a distraction you're everything I desire being around you gets me higher I should say "it got" because, around me you're not you get many chances to make better choices you always choose to go where the noise is maybe you think I'll steer you wrong maybe it's me just singing the same ol' song
Don't be a critic of individuals, be one of humanity... Addiction, in its myriad forms, is an aspect of human behavior that we all grapple with to some extent. From substances to technology, we find ourselves drawn to what evokes pleasure or eases discomfort. This isn't just an observation; it is a profound reflection of our shared humanity. While some habits pose significant risks, it’s crucial to recognize the underlying factors that drive these behaviors. It’s essential to approach the topic with empathy and understanding. Each person carries their own story of influence, shaped by the surroundings and people who guided them, whether deliberately or inadvertently. With every experience, we absorb lessons, leading to choices that ultimately shape our futures. Understanding this complex web of addiction can inspire us to foster healthier habits and create supportive environments for ourselves and others.
Every single day is a battle within myself that no one else see's. My children think that I'm mad at them but the reality of it is that I'm mad at myself. I'm mad at myself for knowing I'd be raising my second and third child alone though I still went through with having them because I wanted them. That was very selfish of me. Little did I know that it would be so stressful. I say things and express my opinions based on my own experiences. So, when I say it's not smart to have a child on your own outside of a relationship it's because I know first hand. Being a mom that refuses to give up is the absolute most exhausting job one could have. Did I tell you I'm exhausted?
If you have the opportunity to work, it's important to take it. Your earnings cover not just your living costs but also serve a greater purpose. Even if the job isn’t your favorite, that's perfectly fine. Try to identify something you appreciate about it and hold onto that until you discover a role that excites you more. Always aim to exceed expectations; every experience carries a lesson that can benefit you. It’s up to you to embrace what you learn along the way.
If you can flirt with the girl to get her then you can flirt with her to keep her. So many of us are so quick to place blame as to why a relationship fades. You have to stay interested in one another, genuinely. Instead of getting upset over the things they do or don't do that upset you, think about the things they do that contribute and make you feel good. It takes effortless work. He should give her time and she should be thankful for it. Embrace each other for what you actually do rather than what each other doesn't do. Even if it's something so small, it's important to acknowledge it.
Learn more about yourself or if you are in a relationship the two of you can answer these questions to find out just how similar or how different your beliefs are. It's nice to know when you're on the same page. They're questions requiring sentence based answers that just give you a better idea of what you want from a relationship. My purpose for this is to have people putting more effort and thought into getting to know one another. Before a relationship, before having children, before living together it's very important to know a tad bit of what is to come. Enjoy with or without a partner. Self Interest Questionnaire
Introducing Noted Gesture, a delightful collection of blank note cards that celebrate the artistry of homemade treats! Each card features a stunning photograph of cupcakes crafted with love by me, ensuring that your heartfelt messages are accompanied by an image that brings joy. Printed on high-quality thick paper and paired with matching envelopes, these cards are perfect for any occasion. Whether you're sending a quick hello or sharing cherished memories, the generous blank space inside invites you to express yourself freely. In our fast-paced digital world, there’s something truly special about receiving personal mail; it's a tangible reminder that thoughtful gestures still matter. Join me in spreading positivity and good intentions—because we all deserve a little sweetness in our mailboxes. Find these note cards at https://noted-gesture.printify.me/products plus many more.
If anyone at anytime ever thought I was a fool, it's only because I've let them. There was once a time when I caused or joined chaos on it's journey through my teens and twenties. It lingered, lurked, and sucked me right in. Then, next thing you know it came to my attention that my own choices resulted in all of this chaos. There was a passage in a book that I read and it really caught my attention. I'm pretty sure that when I read and wrote it down I added my own wording to it. But here it goes "Chaos is unpredictable energy that cannot be controlled. It has raw power and power is always potentially dangerous. Chaos will turn a warm heart cold and with that type of power one's heart can sink". I don't know the name of the book or author off the top of my head though when I get moved into my new place and unpack my books I'll be able to refer the beginning of that quote to the author of the book I read it in.
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