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Impatient for what?

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"I can’t wait to turn 18," the kid from next door exclaimed. In reply, I questioned whether he understood what lay ahead. He paused for a moment before admitting, "Aside from the casino, I’m not really sure." I responded, "It’s death." Death is the inevitable conclusion we all face in the end. Regardless of our pursuits, we cannot escape death. If more individuals reflected on this reality, would it encourage them to take life at a more leisurely pace instead of rushing toward their goals? I ponder what it would take for the younger generation to slow down and appreciate the beauty that exists in everyone, everywhere, if only we allow ourselves to recognize it.  The only way to instigate change is through consistent practice. We acquire knowledge every day, but the key to truly internalizing and expressing what we learn lies in diligent study. After a week or two of adjusting to a new job that demands a good night's sleep before rising early five days ...
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Phone Phobia

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 Lately I just don't feel good about myself.  I've got this phobia with using the phone and it messes with important aspects of my life.  For instance, years could pass by and each day I put off until the next calling the oral surgeon or primary care physician.  Whenever it comes to making any appointment it takes multiple breathing techniques to actually pick up and dial a number. Then more deep breaths waiting for the response.  There are many things I need to make a priority as well as initiative to get them done.  To do that I have to convince myself that it's just a phone call and it's not like the person on the other end can instantly get to me.  "It's just a phone call" I keep repeating to myself.  Sometimes to ensure I don't stutter too much or outright say something out of sorts I'll write down exactly what I want to say and how I'd respond then I'd just repeat as needed throughout my call. Having confidence and courage are 2 major...
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I'll be back...

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I'm still here, I'm just going through some shit.  It's been so hard to get on the computer.  One person to a household with 3 kids and one of whom is an adult. My update is coming though. 
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Empathy Deep

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Empathy hits me so deep as I can literally feel the aches and pain others endure.  The way I feel so bad for people is how I'm easily taken advantage of.  I know in my heart that if I had only looked through his phone that day I'd see something that would have broke my heart.  I force myself to not even try getting into any of his accounts.  It would completely shatter my heart and ruin any chance ever of loving and appreciating or most of all trusting a man again.  I simply do not trust him.  Why do I love someone so much that I cannot trust?
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