It's a DuBarr Thing

Sometimes my heart bleeds over my good judgement causing me to continuously make decisions similar to all the others, always leaving me at square one.  I've been keeping a journal since I was 14 years old and when I go back in them to read I get to wondering about myself, and if I'll ever make the jump or if I'm going to continue hanging off the edge.  Something about the edge is spontaneous and fun but it only lasts for a minute per day.  The thing that seems to set me back is the view. From the edge the view is always familiar which is more than most people can handle. There is fear behind the jump because there's no telling where I'll land.  I know that I don't want to sit on a ledge waiting, wondering, and worrying.  Even if jumping doesn't land me right where I want to be, it's probably where I need to be to get where I'm meant to be.

There's days when I literally think that I'm the only one in the world going through life with such particular struggles and then there are days like today when I think that I better start getting some of this bottled up emotion out; share what I've learned and what I've been through because it's likely there's thousands of other people who are also at a sort of stance in their life.  I used to vent here and there thinking I'd benefit, which I did, though, only through my own expressions.  It's come to my knowledge that it's better to be ready and prepared for the adventures ahead.  Right now it's hard for me to plan out my future as I'd like to see it.  In my opinion I feel like it's become pretty hard on everyone to follow through with one set path towards a goal.  Paths can shift into a total different direction and will often happen when you least expect it. I fear the next drastic change to my life.  I know that always thinking negat...